Third Period...

Tuesday, June 3rd is a day that will remain infamous in my life.

As required for my job (a Supervisor for the Summer Youth Employment Program) I had to pay a visit to my old stomping grounds of Fort Hamilton High School. Now, at first, I was excited. It has been YEARS since I last paid a visit. The last time I was there was for a performance with a dance company I was in.

As I entered the gate and onto the FHHS campus, a rush of emotions took over. I instantly got anxious again! Here I am, a grown professional adult still intimidated about high school. I like to think that I enjoyed High School, but the truth is, I really didn't...and it was my fault.

I never really opened up to people. I went to my classes, I pretended to be a person that I clearly was not and I kept "friends" at arms-length. I was afraid and terrified to let people know me. I was always too concerned about what people thought about me than who I wanted to be!

So back to my site visit, I did my duty, checked the area and was ready to leave. As I was leaving, I saw one of my favorite teachers from the High School era (her name will remain anonymous) smiled a big smile and waved at her. She looked at me, gave a half-ass smile and kept talking to who she was talking too. At first, I thought she didn't recognize me...but of course she remembers me, a lot of my students are her students and I send them messages for her and she returns them.

Anyway, at that moment I had an apostrophe (Hook, 1994). I am getting old. Not old like omg I'm going to die, but old in the sense that it's time to let go of those memories and emotions that have been holding me back for so many years. I need to forgive and forget...or at least move past.

I wish I could get in contact with the few friends I had there. I wish I can share with them who the real Julio is. I hope that I get a chance to.